Partner Practice

While TRE is often practised alone, practising with a partner can add powerful dimensions to the experience. In partner TRE, one person tremors while the other witnesses: offering their calm presence and attention. You then switch roles, so both people have the opportunity to tremor and be witnessed.

How Partner Practice Works

Partner TRE follows a simple structure:

1. Decide who tremors first – One person will be the "tremorer," the other the "witness"
2. The tremorer practises – They complete their exercises and tremor as usual
3. The witness holds space – They remain present, calm, and attentive without intervening
4. Switch roles – After integration, partners exchange roles
5. Close together – Brief sharing if desired

This can be done without a TRE provider present, though working with a provider occasionally can help refine your practice and address any challenges.

Benefits of Partnered Practice

Benefit	Description
Co-regulation	A calm, grounded witness helps your nervous system settle more deeply
Being witnessed	Having someone attentive to your experience without judgement can be profoundly healing: many wounds were relational, and relational presence supports healing
Accountability	Scheduling practice with someone else helps maintain consistency
Mutual support	Both partners benefit from the practice, creating shared investment in each other's wellbeing

Setting Up Partner Sessions

Choosing a partner:

• Someone you trust and feel safe with
• Someone who understands TRE (ideally with some experience)
• Someone whose presence feels calming rather than activating
• It does not need to be a romantic partner: friends, family members, or TRE practice partners can all work

The container: Before beginning, discuss:

• Time available (enough for both people to tremor)
• Any needs or concerns either person has
• How you will handle strong emotions if they arise
• Whether touch is welcome (and what kind)
• Signals to stop or take a break

Setting up the space:

• Enough room for one person to lie down comfortably
• Mat, blankets, and cushions for comfort
• Private space where you will not be interrupted
• Comfortable temperature
• A comfortable place for the witness to sit

Boundaries and Consent

Clear boundaries are essential in partner practice:

Before each session:

• Check in about current state and any sensitivities
• Reaffirm consent for the type of practice planned
• Clarify whether touch is welcome

During practice:

• Respect each other's process without interruption
• Do not comment on or interpret the other's tremors
• Give space for whatever arises
• Stop if either person asks to stop

Touch consent: If touch is part of your practice:

• Be specific about what is okay (hand-holding, hand on shoulder, etc.)
• Consent can be withdrawn at any time
• Check in before initiating touch, especially during tremoring
• Use clear signals (thumbs up/down, safe word)

Emotional boundaries:

• You are not each other's therapists
• If difficult material arises, offer presence, not interpretation
• Have a plan for if one person becomes significantly distressed

Consent Is Ongoing

Consent is not a one-time conversation. It can change moment to moment. Just because touch was welcome last time does not mean it is welcome this time. Stay responsive to each other.

The Art of Witnessing

The witness role is central to partner TRE. It requires presence without intervention: simply being with another person's experience.

As a witness:

• Sit comfortably where you can see your partner without staring
• Maintain a calm, grounded presence
• Keep some attention on your own body and breath
• Observe without analysing or interpreting
• Hold a compassionate, accepting attitude
• Resist the urge to fix, help, or comment
• Allow your partner privacy within the shared space: they don't need to be watched constantly

Being witnessed:

• Allow yourself to be seen without performing
• Release self-consciousness as much as possible
• Trust that your partner is holding a supportive space
• You do not need to explain or justify your experience
• Let your body do what it needs to do

The healing in witnessing: Many of us learned to hide our vulnerability: our fear, pain, and authentic expression. Being witnessed in our release, being seen and not judged, can directly heal those early experiences of needing to hide.

Witnessing Is Active

Being a witness is not passive. Holding space for another person's process requires presence, groundedness, and care. The quality of your witnessing directly affects your partner's experience.

Touch-Based Variations

The witness can offer supportive touch during partner TRE when both people consent:

Touch Type	Description	Considerations
Grounding touch	Witness places hands on the tremorer's feet	Helps with grounding; can feel supportive
Witnessing touch	Witness places a hand on shoulder or upper back (over clothing)	Communicates presence and support
Containment	Witness sits near the tremorer's head, hands resting gently on shoulders	Offers containment; only appropriate with high trust

Important considerations:

• Touch should feel supportive, not intrusive
• If touch changes the tremoring in an unwelcome way, stop
• The tremorer can ask for touch to stop at any time
• Avoid sexualised touch in TRE practice
• When in doubt, err on the side of less touch

Working with Family and Friends

Beyond formal partnerships, you can bring TRE into close relationships:

Introducing TRE to loved ones:

• Share your experience authentically
• Offer resources (this guide, the TRE website)
• Suggest they learn from a certified TRE provider
• Respect if others aren't interested: TRE isn't for everyone

Practising with family/friends:

• Partners, siblings, close friends can become practice partners
• Having a regular practice buddy creates accountability
• Family practice can shift household stress patterns

Remember that practising with loved ones requires good boundaries and clear agreements just as much as practising with anyone else.

Learning TRE Properly

Both partners should have learned TRE from a certified provider before practising together. Partner practice is for people who already know how to do TRE safely: it is not a way to teach someone who hasn't learned the basics.